Elephants & Rainbows

A journey from muted days toward color, memory, and hope.

Happy anniversary, babe.

Fourteen years ago today, we said “I do” to building a family together. In the 13 and a half years we had together, we had our ups, downs, twists, and turns; and I’ll probably spend the rest of my life trying to put into words what those years mean to me.

You gave me so much: love, care, encouragement, motivation, inspiration, our beautiful daughters, and a lifetime of lessons.

This morning Edie gave me a card she’d made last night. She drew an elephant and wished me a good day. How sweet is that? I’m just so proud of all three of them.

Eliza is so funny and confident; she has such a good head on her shoulders. Last night, while I was in bed watching baseball (as usual), she came in and we went over her stats from her last tournament. She loves nerding out over her spray chart and reliving her many successful at-bats.

Fiona is on fire lately behind the plate and when up to bat! You’d be proud of her catching lately. She had a game-ending/game-winning double-play this weekend! She is still my smart little cookie. Just like when she was a baby, she’s still up to shenanigans. She’s deep into reading Harry Potter right now: Order of the Phoenix.

And Edie and I have been on a reading kick lately. Every night ends with us giggling ourselves silly. It’s become such a great way to wind down our days. Oh and she has been sidekick through so many adventures lately. Here we are at the football game this past Friday.

I started therapy this week. I wish I could go daily, but weekly will have to do for now. The moment I walked into the waiting room I noticed elephant décor everywhere. As my therapist led me back, we passed the exact elephant painting we have in our living room. It felt like a sign. Thank you to our good friend Lauren Brown for connecting me with this practice. (And babe, you promised me funky elephants!)

I keep thinking about the movie Trolls. When the trolls are captured by the Bergens, their colors drain away and they turn gray, until they start singing “True Colors” and the color comes back. Lately I’ve felt like those gray trolls. The world feels muted, my rainbow faded. You were my rainbow, my color; and you always said your favorite color was “rainbow.”

I know it’ll take time to feel the rainbow again. But I want you to know how deeply I love you, how much I miss you, and how grateful I am for the life we built.

Happy anniversary, babe.